I never wanted to be a family that had a tv in every room. We moved to the country because we wanted to expose our kids to an environment similar to the ones we enjoyed as children, surrounded by trees and water and sunshine. (We cheerfully opted out of snow.) Our kids did not have computers, they had flip phones, and if you wanted to watch a movie you had to do it in our open living room where everyone could watch along with you. For better or worse. And then came COVID; and we had to throw all those ideals out the window and lean into the technology that would allow our kids to access an education and connection to their peers. If I’m being honest, it wasn’t a worthwhile compromise. It feels as though the effort at “connection” has resulted in increased isolation, a dependence on the opinion of others on social media, and a devastating bombardment of global politics, conspiracy theories, and cultural upheaval that has left so many young adults (and not-so-young adults) struggling to find hope or optimism in their future. And it feels like there’s no going back.
What do we say to our kids in the face of all that has happened, and continues to happen, to inspire them to keep going? To look for light, and to be light, and to have faith for better days ahead?
In a recent conversation, a dear friend shared with me that her mantra in the moment is “Not Impossible.” How I love that! In a world that feels overwhelming and hard, what are the ways we can practice life and positivity? What are the small things we can do for ourselves and for each other that may not change the dark and horrible forces in the world, but may have a hopeful impact on someone else’s day, which may invite a ripple effect of joy and change, in small but entirely possible ways, within the communities we inhabit?
When we first started early intervention work with Raimee, the premise was based on taking every single task and breaking it down into the smallest and most digestible parts. (I think the technical term was “backward chaining”) You want to go outside? Okay. That’s a big thing- let’s break it down into all the steps that make going outside possible. Let’s talk about putting on socks. Then shoes. Then tying those shoes. Then turning a doorknob… and attaching language to each detail and every miniscule step, so that, eventually, he could identify and articulate all the things needed to make going outside an activity he could request on his own. Was that hard? Yes. Did it take a long time to master? It did. Was it impossible? It was not.
I often wonder why we can take such care and time to teach these steps to our beloveds on the autism spectrum, but we somehow assume that we are above needing similar interventions to navigate our own ways in the world. The smallest acts of kindness can evolve into a movement that, if everyone intentionally chose to participate, could be a remarkably powerful and effective tool for redirecting the course of humanity. Is it always easy? Definitely not. Will it seem small and inconsequential in the face of the bigger issue? Probably. But it’s certainly not impossible. And (the big AND) is that it will likely lead the way to opening other doors along the way.
That’s where I’ve landed with my kids, all three of whom see and respond to life’s ups and downs in radically different ways.
So I’ll share with you the same words that I can honestly share with them: When you need to conjure energy and inspire your soul, set down your phone, turn off your tv, close your laptop and step outside. Let the sun wrap its rays around you, or the rain baptize your shoulders, listen to the trees as they dance and touch hands with their neighbors… and pull these prayers into your body as energy to do the next possible thing.
And try to believe, with your whole heart, that change is not impossible.
Sending you love, light, and hope for a “not impossible” world,
Rebecca, Raimee and the Blawesome Crew